Lately I’ve been feeling tired.
That feeling that started in my legs seems to have spread over my whole body now. I sleep a lot, because that’s the only time the feeling truly goes away.
The human comes and pets me all the time. I don’t feel like protesting, so I just close my eyes and enjoy the gentle strokes across my head.
The last week or so has been the most tiring time I could ever imagine. The human keeps coming in and trying to squirt some stuff in my mouth. Says it is “food.” Well, I know what real food is, and let me tell you, it doesn’t taste like that.
Admittedly I’ve been too tired to eat real food lately. It’s not that I don’t try, but chewing is so exhausting… Sometimes I start to eat, and then end up falling asleep before I can even finish it.
Dreaming is more peaceful than being awake now. I dream of running and playing, because I can’t do that when I’m awake anymore. I also dream of eating real food, not the green gunk that the human insists on putting in my mouth.
I love my human, but being awake is so hard…. I feel torn between her and the happy feeling I have when I am dreaming.
One day I fell into a deep sleep. Deeper than usual. I could feel my human nearby, but for some reason, I couldn’t wake up. The tired feeling washed over me even more.
When I woke up, I felt so much better! The feeling was gone! That feeling that was clouding over me for 2 years was actually gone. I got up effortlessly, running over to the human like I always do.
Then I noticed she was crying.
She didn’t look at me when I climbed on her leg. She was looking at another guinea pig. One that looked just like me, I think. Was it me? It couldn’t be, I was right here!
She was saying my name and looking at that other guinea pig. Calling him a good boy. Suddenly I realized that she thought that was me. I tried to get her attention, but she was so wrapped up in the other guinea pig. She looked so sad.
She has looked so sad for a couple weeks now, but I was too tired to make her smile. If only she could look at me now! I could show off all the things I can do again and make her so happy! She couldn’t seem to see me at all anymore. It was like I was invisible.
Suddenly, I noticed another guinea pig. It was Ceico! I haven’t seen Ceico in a whole year! Mom said he had to go away for awhile. She started giving me a lot of cuddles after that.
I touched noses with Ceico as he walked up to me. I noticed Ceico was running now too! Ceico was slow for most of the 5 years that I knew him. Did he struggle with the same feeling as me?
He wanted me to follow him. But how can I leave my mom when she is so sad? She is so confused. I mean, she still thinks I am trapped inside that other guinea pig!
Ceico told me that’s how humans grieve, and that there is nothing I can do to help. He told me I can come back and visit, but the human won’t be able to see us anymore.
He said that our new home is amazing, and has lots of grass to eat and play in! The only bad part, he says, is that the humans can’t come with us. But we can always see them and watch over them.
With that, I finally agreed to go with Ceico. I ran back to the human one last time and climbed up on her leg to say goodbye. I hope the human knows that I am okay now. And I hope that soon, my human is okay too.
❤️ Ace: May 2015 – August 12, 2021 ❤️